WAR CORRESPONDENTS: WHY THEY ARE NEEDED AND WHY WOMEN ARE OFTEN TARGETED MORE OFTEN THAN THEIR MALE COUNTERPARTS

                                

We enter dangerous territory whenever we sit in judgment as to why any of us chooses a particular job or profession. The answers are as personal and as complex as any one individual.

I’m often asked whether being a psychotherapist is depressing and why I would choose to listen to people’s problems all day. I understand why such questions are asked, but they often come from private prejudices based on people’s limited and frequently unrelated experiences.

More to the point is the fact that job choice often reflects the simple need to earn enough money – especially in difficult economic times –or the lack of openings in one's chosen profession.

Those of us are fortunate who are able to follow our passion and do work that offers self-gratification and allows us to use whatever talents we possess.  Yet, having said that, I know that I could never be a war correspondent and place myself in harms way, even though bringing necessary news to the world’s attention is a noble deed which serves an important role as history is in the making.

In today’s world especially – where the internet, cell phones and television coverage offer instant communication – we witness the atrocities of war more quickly than ever before.  In turn, world leaders are forced to be more visible as they struggle to make critical decisions.

What we don’t see – namely, the diplomacy that may or may not be going on behind the public’s awareness – is not anything that I or any average citizen can comment upon.  However, I do feel the urgency to respond to the recent coverage of the fate of female war correspondents.

Writing in the NY Times (2/20/11), KIM BARKER, a reporter for the investigative journalism Web site ProPublica and the author of a forthcoming memoir “THE TALIBAN SHUFFLE: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan" recounts how, in 2007, while in Pakistan as a journalist for the Chicago Tribune she was grabbed over and over again,, shouted at, and forced – in self-defense – to punch her attackers, she never complained to her bosses.  In fact, she further states that she “knew other female correspondents who weren’t so lucky, those who were molested in their hotel rooms or partly stripped by mobs ... Yet, she and several other female reporters never told their bosses for fear that their stories would keep them at home the next time anything important happened that they wanted to cover.  “I was hardly alone in keeping quiet,” she writes. “The Committee to Protect Journalists may be able to say that 44 journalists from around the world were killed last year because of their work, but the group doesn’t keep data on sexual assault and rape. Most journalists don’t report it.”

Her purpose in telling us this is to highlight what happened to the seasoned CBS correspondent LARA LOGAN who broke that code of silence.  However, we are left asking at what cost, when we read commentators imply that Logan was somehow at fault.  It’s the all too familiar story of blaming the victim!  Kim Barker, though, adamantly states that the attack was not Logan’s fault but the mob’s fault ... Despite that, she fears that female correspondents will now be kept away from the front lines.  And while some may feel that would be the appropriate decision given what we now know, Barker’s concern is that women cover women’s experiences in war in ways not accessible to men.  Abused women, she concludes, are often more comfortable talking to other women and their stories are as important as the accounts of battles ... She cites articles about those women who “set themselves on fire in Afghanistan to protest their arranged marriages, or about girls being maimed by fundamentalists, about child marriages in India, about rape in the Congo and Haiti.”

Another female reporter, SABRINA TAVERNISE, writes about “REPORTING WHILE FEMALE” and echoes many of the same sentiments in describing “the hazards of the job that most of us experience and few of us talk about.”

As commented in the New York Post by ASHLEIGH BANFIELD (an Emmy Award-winning correspondent for ABC News, who has reported from Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq) :‘’It ain't pretty being a war correspondent ... No one need remind Americans of the hazards that foreign correspondents face almost daily. But it's a sad little secret shared by many female war reporters that there's an additional nasty welcome awaiting us at many demonstrations and rallies populated predominantly by men ... There's a good chance we will be groped, pinched, slapped and/or experience severe molestation in a discreetly sinister way. It's unpleasant … it's humiliating. … and sometimes a painful nuisance – but it's not something that's likely to change anytime soon.  And it's something many of my female colleagues simply endure in order to carry on doing the job they love ... It doesn't often escalate to the kind of atrocities meted out upon Lara Logan in Egypt, but it can, and it does.  The truth is the garden-variety rally in predominantly Muslim countries is strictly male.  A woman's voice and presence is often muted in many of the places where the streets are erupting in political consternation right now ... Frequently, those rallies are frenetic and angry. The arrival of TV cameras is fuel on the fire ... The proximity of women, particularly Western women, can be a recipe for disaster ... One of my former Pakistani colleagues confided in me that she would never cover a political street rally because the predominantly male crowd would likely whip themselves quickly into a frenzy and confuse their political angst with sexual opportunity."

JUDITH MATLOF, author of HOME GIRL writes: “The solution is to prepare women to deal with the unmentionable, rather than taking them off the job. I know firsthand about sexual harassment in the field, having worked for 20 years in places like Rwanda, Chechnya and Sudan, to name a few. I once narrowly escaped an assault in Angola, when a priest helpfully intervened to stop a pair of policemen from marching me and other women into a shed ... Lots of people carry guns and few perpetrators are caught. Western women are moreover often viewed as promiscuous game in countries where females are veiled, and no amount of headscarves will protect them. The goons frequently count among the very folk we rely on to do the job — translators, drivers, guards and sources ... Fortunately, Logan managed to escape, and I wish her a speedy recovery. She was courageous to go public, and I hope this hideous episode raises awareness in other newsrooms ... Obviously no amount of foresight can guard a woman against all eventualities, such as an unruly mob that erupts out of nowhere. Still, editors should not refrain from dispatching women into combat for fear of sexual assault. Instead, they should prepare staff to make informed decisions that help them to cope in case the unthinkable occurs.”

Now that South African born LARA LOGAN, CBS’s chief correspondent for foreign affairs, married and a mother of two children has allowed her story to be revealed, she has brought to light the fact that there is no shame in telling the truth.  Most importantly, we must laud those who, as LARA LOGAN, are the voice for innocent peoples caught in the terror of war, having no other means by which the world would hear them or see them.

When brave correspondents who continue to reveal the horrific secrets of war are themselves victimized, they must not suffer silently, either.  If we encourage silence for those who suffer verbal or sexual abuse – whether in the military or covering military operations, witnessing the overthrow of despots or aware of  abuse perpetrated in families – we are no better than their attackers!  We may not always have the power to protect the innocent, but we certainly should have the wisdom not to condemn them.

Do share your thoughts on this sensitive subject!

Yours,

Linda
*Visit my website @ http://www.applemanshapiro.com/  to learn more about my psychotherapy practice, my work as an oral historian, my memoir FOUR ROOMS, UPSTAIRS and how you may purchase it directly from my website (without any fee for mailing).

THE CHANGING FACE OF WAR AND THE UNCERTAINTY OF WHAT WILL FOLLOW!

 Egyptians protesting non-violently in the streets of Cairo.

As any psychotherapist knows, depending upon the degree of abuse, repression or trauma experienced, it can take years for a person to feel free from the shackles of memory, the reality of the present moment, and the choices that have to be made in order to move beyond  the experiences of oppression.

Why would we assume it to be different for entire nations?

The crushing crowds of people filling the streets of Cairo, which nobody can deny as being anything less than a victorious ousting of one of the strongest regimes in the Middle East, was accomplished non-violently, and that others are attempting to follow their lead is more than simply impressive.  It comes as close to resembling a 21st century miracle as anything we have seen – at least in my life-time.

Yet, as stated in an Israeli newspaper by Meron Rapoport; “Nobody knows where this triumph will take Egypt.” He rightly questions: “Will a military regime arise? Will an Islamic government take shape? Or Egypt’s own sort of democracy? Or mere anarchy?”

We are all left hoping for the best and wondering ~ wondering about the millions of people in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Libya and Bahrain who are continuing to demonstrate the overwhelming human need for freedom.

I assume that many of you feel as I do.  I can’t, in fact, imagine any American not wishing to live in a world where all people live peacefully within their own country and with neighboring countries. Yet, the reality of what has occurred after revolutions throughout history is less than encouraging.

In reading *Waller. R. Newell’s overview of what has happened after every revolution, he points to significant parallels.  And although those who are tumbling their governments in 2011 are the first who have been able to reach the world and be reached in turn thanks to the internet and cell phones, we cannot yet know what the outcomes will be.

Newell traces the “reformist phase” of revolutions since the French Revolution and concludes that “focusing on individual rights and opportunity is swept aside by radicals who want an egalitarian and collectivist order.” He cites “liberal reformers such as Lafayette and Mirabeau who were inspired by the American Revolution with its emphasis on individual liberty” but were then followed by Marat and Robespierre.  In the same manner,” he continues, “ Kerensky was followed by Lenin; BeniSadr by Khomeini.”

I think the strongest and most depressing part of his argument is that he refers to the truly revolutionary phase as being “preceded by the delusion of the part of the reformers that they can form a partnership with the radicals, harnessing their populist energy to help bring about the transition to free elections, economic modernization, and individual rights.”

“The radicals, for their part,” he concludes, “always look on these alliances as purely tactical, to be overturned when the time is right to take over." And, he continues, "We can predict a similar outcome for Mohammad El Baradei's and other reformers' opening to the Muslim Brotherhood’s leaders.”

His final prediction is that "within a few months of a transitional reformist regime taking over, headed by a coalition of largely secular reformists, we will see enormous demonstrations in the streets by followers of the Muslim Brotherhood, far better organized and militant than the ones that drove out Mubarak, a sea of banners shouting for the destruction of Israel and the expulsion of all American and western influence.  Let's make good and certain we know what we're wishing for in Egypt.  Authoritarian regimes can transition to liberal democracy, but it's an infinitely complex and potentially dangerous process."

Just when I was fighting with myself not to think that this all too familiar pattern will be repeated, I opened today’s Times to see an article – almost hidden from view – appearing in the middle of the paper in a small, easy to miss box.  Its heading: Message to Egypt from Quaeda’s No 2.   Its message:  “Al Qaeda’s Egyptian-born second in command, Ayman al-Zawahri, attacked secular rule in Egypt in an audio lecture released Friday, but the message appeared to have been recorded before President Hosni Mubarak stepped down last week.  Experts on the terrorist network have been eager to hear its reaction to the nonreligious demonstrations that led to the ouster of presidents in Tunisia and Egypt.  But Mr. Zawahri’s lecture, though titled : ‘A Message of Hope and Glad Tidings to Our People in Egypt,’ referred to Mr. Mubarak as 'the biggest Arab Zionist' and to his son Gamal as ‘the awaited leader,’ suggesting that it was recorded before Mr. Mubarak’s resignation on Feb. 11."

So, here we go again.  A so-called message of HOPE which carries with it hatred for non-fundamentalist secular democracies.

Will the courageous people who are risking their lives to be free find lasting support?  What will the leaders of the free world do?  What will America do?  What can our leaders do to help insure that it will happen?  Yes, they want all people to enjoy freedom from fear and oppression? And, yes, we do not know what is going on behind the scenes in the arena of diplomatic relations.  It seems, though, that they are all waffling for now.

However, these are complex times with no easy solutions. And, while we are still able to see and hear many of the brave people who are protesting in the streets, we cannot yet know if they will be victorious.  We can only hope that they will ... and, in the words of Waller R. Newell, "let's make good and certain we know what we're wishing for in Egypt" and elsewhere.

However, without faith that good things do sometimes happen to good people, we are left bereft.  We can hope, though, that change is possible and that there will be no horrendous cost for those fighting for their inalienable rights and that it will be possible for them to move beyond the experiences of oppression.

*Waller R. Newall is a professor of political science and philosophy, the author of several books, commentaries and monographs too numerous to mention and among other leading thinkers in today’s world, he was Moderator for “The Clash of Civilizations” conducted at Harvard University.

Yours,
Linda
Visit my website @ www.applemanshapiro.com to learn more about my psychotherapy practice, my work as an oral historian, and my book, which may be purchased directly from the site with no fee for shipping.

DENIAL, ADDICTIONS, AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF HOLIDAY BLUES!

               

When any of us is “in denial” – the psychological state where we (unconsciously) use a defense mechanism to

reduce anxiety - we're actually denying the existence of thoughts and feelings that are (consciously)unacceptably painful.

For children, it’s one of the best defenses to help survive trauma, to see only the parts of their life that resonate with what they wish to see and can tolerate seeing.  I know that was true for me and I know it to be true for the majority of my patients.

However, when we pass through childhood and enter adolescence and adulthood, denial no longer serves us in the same ways.  Instead of protecting us, ultimately it does just the opposite.

An obvious example is a  person who experiences physical symptoms that are clearly indicative of a disease, but the fear to confront what may be happening causes a delay in consulting a physician. The person's mind conveniently blocks the awareness of whatever symptoms are being experienced because the fear of discovering the truth is too overwhelming.  Instead, an unconscious decision is made to defend against such fear by blocking (denying) the awareness of any and all symptoms.

If you’re wondering why I’m writing about DENIAL on the day before VALENTINE'S DAY, it’s because as with any holiday, those who are alone or feeling vulnerable – no matter what the reason – will give themselves permission to self-medicate, to eat comfort foods, to do almost anything that will allow them to pretend that the holiday that others may be enjoying isn’t really important to them.  In convincing themselves that they don’t care, they then block whatever real feelings they are experiencing and rationalize that whatever they choose to do (which is not, in fact, healthy or helpful) is right for them to do.

First they deny. Then they rationalize. And the combination of the two often leads to greater despair and loneliness than what they felt when they were merely feeling sad or lonely.

With a sub-specialty in addiction, I have found that patients suffering from alcoholism or other addictions often relapse at such times. So, while their initial instinct may be to help themselves to feel less alone, less sad at holiday times, in wishing to reduce the anxiety of the thoughts that seem to be increasing such feelings, they turn to their untrustworthy friend – the bottle of alcohol, the quick hit, you name it – and the spiral downward begins.

Yet, relapse is far more debilitating and humiliating than whatever caused them to feel sorry for themselves.  In turning to their drug of choice, they create instead the illusion of happiness for a moment in time, a moment that destroys all their many moments of healthy sobriety.

Society compounds their problem by feeding their cravings through advertising weeks in advance for the love that will be sent via chocolates, flowers, and jewels.  And for anyone who knows that is not going to be what he or she will receive, feelings of depression set in and fester.  Self-esteem diminishes and in its place comes the enemy of an empty feeling which needs to be filled.

There are no quick fixes, though, and there is great pain that comes with relapsing.

Our challenge as a society is to connect with family members, friends and co-workers who we know will be alone at various holidays – not just Valentine’s Day – to help them to feel less alone, to protect them from themselves and their feelings of loneliness. Whatever it takes to be a community, to make others feel that they, too, belong, will lessen the need to remain unconscious, disconnected, and so “needy” that they will suffer the consequences of denial.

Not everyone has a lover!  Not everyone needs to celebrate Valentine’s Day.  But, everyone needs to feel loved ~ and I believe we owe it to one another to extend ourselves – in whatever ways we feel comfortable – to those whom we know would appreciate our attention tomorrow.

We can’t deny that it will be Valentine’s Day, but we also can’t afford to deny that what it represents to most people deserves to be shared and acknowledged.

So, here’s to a day of feeling loved, of offering love, and avoiding the dangers of denial.

Yours,

♥ Linda

Visit my website at http://www.applemanshapiro.com to learn more about my private psychotherapy practice, my work as an oral historian, my availability as a speaker advocating for mental health, and my memoir  FOUR ROOMS, UPSTAIRS, which may be purchased directly from the website with no fee for shipping.





THE VIRTUE OF BEING PRODUCTIVE AT ANY AGE!

“No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any.  It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.”
Thomas Jefferson
                                                    
                                                       Why be couch potatoes?

In joining a new Linkedin.com group,Thirsty Fish: Marketing for Right-Brained, Creative Healers and Mental Health Professionals, many thoughts crossed my mind when the question of how best to market oneself was raised.


When I first started my practice as a psychotherapist more than 25 years ago, I did much to market myself: handing my card to every medical doctor I knew (and just about every person I knew), sending out beautifully designed and informative brochures describing my training and my goals, and talking to any group that welcomed me to speak to its members.  Even as a mother with young children, I mustered the energy to make myself visible, to “put myself out there” in the days before
e-mails, Facebook or Linkedin existed.


So, as I continued to read Thirsty Fish, I began to ask myself, "so, what now?  

During the years when I was completing my memoir, FOUR ROOMS, UPSTAIRS, there came a time when I had to take on fewer patients so that I would have more hours to complete the book and ready it for publication.  Since then, I started writing this weekly blog, which will – I’m delighted to say – be published in book form later in 2011.  But, now, I feel the urge to increase my practice and continue to use the skills I’ve developed. 


I'd be less than honest if I didn't refer to my patients as high functioning, garden variety neurotics (like myself) who offer me challenging and rewarding days.  I do, in fact,  love my work and throughout the years my patients have encouraged me to promote myself as a LIFE COACH, since I often help them to write out or act out conversations with colleagues, bosses, family members, lovers, significant others ... and the list goes on.  When the scripts we create then bear fruit and my patients receive their desired outcome, we share celebratory moments.


Therefore, as I continued to read about how one can best market oneself, I realized that though most of the people reading what I was reading were probably newcomers to the field, it didn’t really matter as I have no intention of retiring.


It is true that I am approaching an age that (when I was a child)I used to think  represented only old ladies who were stooped over, walked with canes and were certainly not sharp enough to work and/or be productive members of society.  But, times have changed.  I have changed, and I hope I have grown and evolved.  For me, remaining productive is a priority, as is a life in which time and talent are used wisely.


We have, after all, a limited number of years to become who we are and once we feel we know who we are that doesn’t mean we stop learning or doing.  In fact, that's when it's all the more reason to allow our skills and talents to be manifest.


That being said, I welcome words of wisdom from all who are reading this blog for ways to increase my practice as opposed to settling in comfortably and not spreading my wings?  Even now.  Even as I’m approaching my 8th decade, the need to continue to give of myself is more than merely altruistic.  It feeds my soul and offers me more energy, not less.


After all, I want my grandkids to say, my grandma couldn’t come to be with us today because she’s working; but, whenever we do see her, we have so much fun!


In addition to visiting my website @www.applemanshapiro.com, I look forward to reading your responses and suggestions.


Gratefully,
Linda